Hello fellow readers....
My sincerest apologies for the lack of blogging. I realize the last posts were from September, and now we have one week left for 2021. Honestly, I'm not sure about anyone else, but I'm ready for a fresh year. There's something freeing about the New Year once it's here. Of course, around March or April, the fresh feeling begins to fade. What's been keeping me from blogging? Well, recently I published a poetry book on amazon. Once you are done reading this blog post, click over to BOOKS to check on my latest publication, Holes in Your Umbrella. Aside from my periodic journaling that has been recommended while I'm in therapy. I find it very helpful to produce poems. Poetry, in my humble opinion, are considered snippets of an author's soul. While reading, you can grasp onto bursts of emotions within a small compact. At least, that's how I write poetry. My book features some darker, more melancholy poetry. The entire book is not meant to be depressing, but for anyone who knows me and my current mental health situation. You may be able to tell this book is a bridge where some poems were created while in a very unhealthy state of mind, whereas in other poems you can start to see the light penetrating through some very dark clouds. I'm very proud and at peace with how the book turned out. The fact that I am now mentally stable enough to produce such a unique treasure is a huge WIN for someone like me. Goals for 2022: 1. Devote more time to this blog-- i.e. bi-weekly or weekly posts on updates on my mental or topics on writing. 2. Continue producing poems on the topic of "love is strange". 3. Continue adding to my second WIP Love is Strange. #comingsoon2022 4. Start outlining story ideas to branch out into fiction novella or short stories for late 2022/2023. I think those are some great goals to start with. I can definitely envision myself achieving goals 1-3 easily by using a calendar, and reminder's on my phone. Thank you for taking the time to read and don't forget to check out the BOOKS section of the website! Jan--
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The above stats are reported from the website of the National Institute of Mental Health in their section on suicide. Now, I don't mean to start off my blog in a bleak and depressing way, but what you'll come to find is that I'm pretty in your face blunt with the real talk and honesty. I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I've spent years mentally torturing myself about not wanting to live, and thinking my family would be better off if I were dead. At one point, I was getting ready to leave behind a young child and husband because I didn't think my existence held any value to them. My mind was torn into two and at a constant war within itself. So much so, I started having extreme migraines, and an MRI showed damage from over four decades of severe mental illness.
At the peak of my bipolar-depressive episode, I was left paralyzed. In my head, I wanted to die with no will to live whatsoever, yet I did not have the physical ability to take my own life. It's a blessing in disguise. Not everyone with a mental illness attempts suicide. Even people who are depressed to the point of no longer wanting to live. Some way, some how they find a tiny shred of last ditch energy to make it through another day. And that my friends was me. I had no idea what was going on with me. I knew I was depressed. I knew I wanted to die. I had no idea I was bipolar, and suffering for multiple identities, but I can thankfully say that I have never had a suicide attempt ever in my life. Please if you are reading this, and have a legitimate plan to end your life.... Please pick up the phone and dial 911. You are worth more than you realize!!! Dear Future Readers and Blog Followers,
Unfortunately, I do not have a full-on post for you tonight. I have spent my time on designing a very clean, and efficient website for everyone to enjoy. I don't want this site to be muddled or become distracted like my mind once was, when I was at the peak of being very unmedicated. I add images to engage the readers, plus I like the pretty things that make sense to me and what I'm talking about. Please know that I read a lot of outside sources on many of my mental illness diagnosis'. I also attend weekly psychotherapy sessions. I take my medications on a regular basis, and journal almost every day or every other day, which is where most of my blog post topics will come from. Please visit the About page to learn more about me. Also, I encourage you to visit the Contact page to start emailing your questions, and comments. Please continue to look forward to more posts soon. Sincerely Yours, Jill Mansfield. |
AuthorI'm blogging about my mental health journey along with my various life struggles that go along with having a variety of "holes in my umbrella" in life. Archives
March 2022
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